Thinking about turning over a new leaf…

I need to start doing things for myself, instead of others. 

Today I’ve hit a low point and I am not happy.  I’m not trying to be negative, but I realized today that I am not doing anything that puts me somewhere that I want to be. What I like and what makes me me is not happening right now.

First, I haven’t been to the beach since I’ve been here ONCE. I moved to California and I haven’t gone to the beach yet.  Maybe because I live so far away from it! It shouldn’t matter, I have a surfboard and I’m ready to go there- making plans for Saturday or Sunday. I have to go.

two, I am being way to idealistic about Matt.  He was gone all summer and now that he is back, he is being  a typical dude and not even calling me to just say HI! And he’s not returning my message. That just tells me, he cannot deal with his true feelings and can’t be man enough to talk to someone who once mattered so much.  It makes me sick to think of how attached I was to my phone this past month, because he said he’d call. He’s an asshole for everything.

My new goal is to meet someone (which normally can’t be planned anyway) who is more into things that I am about.  Like surfing . smokin weed. and is cute and not selfish.  Too bad I met that person but he lives in SoCAL. Bummers.

Third, I’m not going to meet guys at Oasis, or any such club bc I’m so sick of that game. Giving out a number,  maybe going on one date, and then realizing I am not into them AT ALL.  I also do not want to leave with anybody just because they will smoke me up, UNLESS they are actually cool and I like them.

Four. I am so unsettled here.  I don’t have a job, or one that I’m dreaming to get.  When I am in a full time position, it won’t be so bad, at least I’ll meet new people and have money coming in. I’m sick of sitting at home all day.  I like when I’m productive and do good stuff like get shit done, then maybe tan and go swimming or biking.  That’s nice.  I feel like I am only in this area because other people are.  My parents, my friends.  They are all doing their thing and yeah they are happy that I’m here…. I want to be living on PB again, just starting up there. I never get bored, the beach is right there (And I can survive there w/o much money) . I’m always entertained. I go surfing every day, I’m tan, I’m in shape.  There’s plenty of herb there.  It’s easy to meet people.  It’s not a commercialized plaza land like San Ramon.  Yea, SF is cool. I like Berkeley, but I am there maybe once a week.  I Live here….and my day to day is very dull. Brittany is here. we are in the same boat. It’s all good! There is so much potential for things to get better, but right now everything is at its worst.   Again, not trying to be negative, but I’m just realizing this is not what I want to be doing. My life is boring. I need more excitement. 

Shit for brains. Pencil Dicks. Horny Male Losers.

FUCKING Lowlife Scum, piece of shit twat, sweaty ass smelly fucking bunk faced, porn addicts, get the fuck off of me!

I hate you all.  You, you and you.  YOU because you wouldnt leave me alone, and showed NO RESPECT.  YOU, because you stole my fucking Wallet and used my atm cards to pump your gas and pay for your shitty ham and grits at the local el cerrito cafe, you Fat Bitch of a man.. and You, because you are a dumbass.  I spoke maybe 5 words with you and I know you are stupid as shit because you hang with those ass clowns. 

 Fuck all a yall.  We were just there to do our own thing, but you dipshits ruined my night, my whole today and probably scarred me from talking to anyone remotely similar to you.

 I’m so pissed my wallet is gone with all my information and some cheap ho tried to swipe that shit here there and everywhere. Thank god I was able to block that before any of your brilliant schemed stealing actually took place.  and Close the fucking account. now I have no money, no ID and I have a strong hatred towards you skeezes- never fucking talk to me AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Pool Pah-tay, Deeaaam, that’s hot!

Woo this weekend was pretty classic! Rolled outta bed on Saturday morning around 11:30 and saw the neighbors dragging their grill outside of my window.. Brittany and I changed into bathing suits and crashed the Pool Party!! We stayed there all freaking day, got mad tan.. I played two games of beer pong and won one of em, cuz I was playing with an all-star (No, Britt not you.. jk!) Shit was bonkers, the Bootyhunter (a professional photographer) was there snappin fots… he also had a giant super soaker and was splashing people. Good thing he got thrown in the pool (oh my). Water balloons were involved. hot tubbing.. I met a hottie there, half chinese half hawaiian.  side note, he just texted me!.. wow i’m an ass.  meanwhile brittany is IMing through myspace comments with the booty hunter (oh snap!) anyway, i gots it on in the back of a honda, that is one tiny ass car. booya!

Oasis on Friday nite was as entertaining as always.  I was talking to the scariest dudes, I was too faded to notice at first, but once I got to talking, I noticed that his “twin cousin” had gold capped teeth and a scary ass glare! There were some clutch Rastas there though, the merch guy as always, the homeboys outside who let us hit their swissha sweet! mmm mmm.. and how can we forget about old froggie, a 50 year old 5 foot man who kept following me around and asking “READY YET” – to hit the dance floor, bc earlier in the nite I told him “maybe later” when he asked to dance!  hahahaha.. funny.

mmm weezy is on right now. Living with Britt has exposed me to the glorious world of Lil Wayne. we love him!!!!!!!

Peace everybody, im blogged out. i know, that was quick, but don’t hate. please..

Ze Countdown.

Lots of shit is new today. I feel like I got nothing done, other than fulfill my craving for Tacos and went to see SuperBad. I can’t believe the kid’s name is Fogle!!!! And I love George Michael and the dude from Huckabees.. hah we new he’d be a star after “Omega Level!”

I ate about 10000 Mike N Ikes and now I feel like a big fruitchew.  They go down easy, as Britt says.  I cannot stop singing these 2 annoying songs, “I Lean Like a Cholo!” and “SuperMan OOHHHH!” Soulja Boy is terrible, but I his dance is not bad. 

Today is Aug. 22nd. and I’m counting down to the 24th.. I think I just might make it. But if anyone out there knows me, I’m going bonkers and in the last week of this waiting game and finally starting to lose my wits… Girl’s goin CRAZY!! I’m counting down the arrival of Matt, who has been away at sea for three months. I can’t wait to see him!

Anywho, I can’t wait to go spoon with my body pillow. I do every nite and morning because I’m a cuddler and that thing is just so irressitably squishy!

goodnite world! See ya on the morn.

Becky

Some More About Me

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My weekend in Petaluma

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Ya HERD?

I have listened to hella music today.  All solid albums too, right now I’m really getting into AIR, Talkie Walkie.

Songs on this album include: VENUS, CHERRY BLOSSOM GIRL, SURFING ON A ROCKET, ALPHA BETA GAGA and more awesome tunes. It fits nicely with the laser show on my windows media player.

Other MUSIC I heard today were dese alBums:

These are my recommendations for the day:

“Burnin’” is a great album.  There are some classics that everyone knows such as “Get up, Stand up” and “I Shot the Sheriff” but also Dope tracks that not everyone knows like “Pass it on” “Put it On” and “Small Axe”.

Weezer Blue is self explanatory, it’s always cool to have in the rotation.

James  Brown, Sex Machine.  Well I had a greatest hits on, but Sex Machine was the song I wanted to “get into”. Also “Man’s World” is my fave.

Outkast greatest hits is a must have.  Every track you wanna hurr is on it.  Tight joints include “Crumblin Erb” and the “Cadillac” song.

Beastie Boys’ new album is pretty chill. Its instrumental, so there are no annoying songs to skip (not that that is usually a problem with them).  They are Off the GRID!

Job Searching Tips

Some ideas so far are:

-Start own business. A restaurant/cafe, beachside where we have created the most amazing menu dreamable.  Many people will be involved in this plan.

-Contact businesses directly, that is if you are willing to work for this company.

-Researching nonprofit organizations, and getting involved from there

-Visit a temp agency, that way you have someone helping in your job search.  Practice Word programs at home because there are take home tests on these programs that you want to be passing.  Also practice typing in general!

-Search on Craigslist, all that involves is searching key words.  It is more than likely there will be a few good postings on there.  Write cover letters accordingly.

These are all stages of the search.  Keep your resume and portfolio nearby so if you get called on an interview, you have something to bring and use as a reference.

Hope I find a job soon! Till then I may get a part time at a store (Marshalls?) and work a few nites a week for an income and also a hookup to clothes. hmmmmmmmmmmmm……

Day 2 of Blog

Things I might/must do today Are:

• Do some job searching, find a few listings and email them (this is actually quite a long process)
• Take my online tests “Prove it!”, 5 of em.
• Pop some bennys, aka Benadryl to get these hives out of my life (They are on their way out!)
• Bike down the Iron Horse trail, get in some exercise
• Meet Dylan in Walnut Creek, possibly see a movie. Pay back Dylan about $15

Almost time to make some weekend plans.. It being Tuesday and all. It looks like the girls and I are having the monthly dinner this Sunday at Agave.  I’m pretty into that idea.  Other than that, not to sure what’s going on this weekend. There was some talk of traveling to Petaluma for a bday party on Sat.

Favorites!

Alcoholic Drank: If we’re talking “hard stuff” I have a few faves, Sex on the Beach (peach schnappes, cran and orange juices, vodka?) I’m VERY into Tequila so I enjoy 2 for 1 margarita happy hours (on the rocks with salt, or blended!).  For a more mellow time, I will have a red wine, preferrably from California wineries.  Beers, I have a variety of favorties, I’ll order a Heineken (lite), Corona’s are always a good time and they go down like water. 

Outdoor Activity:  Hmm, lately would be any type of walking or hiking. It’s something you can do in everyday life, like getting from point a to point b in San Francisco (up and down hills).  It’s enjoyable to be a pedestrian, there’s no commitment to go back anywhere.  Obvs any sort of beach activity, like surfing or frisbee.  Close seconds include morning bike rides and laying on hills in places like Berkeley.

Coffee Beverage:  This is tough to say because I switch it up often.  More than anything I’ll order an Iced Americano, all it is is espresso and water over ice.  The prettiest one to get is an Iced Cappuccino because of the frothed milk on top with cinnamon and chocolate powder. I love barista-ing coffee drinks and drinking them too.

R&B Artist: Alicia Keys and Keisha Cole, for sheezy. The females hold it down in this category because their lyrics are way better than anyone else, like say Akon “Nobody wanna see us together, but it don’t matter girl, cuz I got you” or T Pain, “Bartender, I’m at the bar with her” So bad!

Hour of the day:  I like the morning, I wake up around 9:30, 10.  It’s pretty chill.  I like getting shit done early and then keeping up that motivation throughout the day.

Type of Tea:  I put this on here and I knew it’d be a stumper, but one I can elaborate on.  I’d say for digestive purposes and a great followup to any meal is Lemon Ginger (YOGI Tea has the best lemon ginger), another good one is peppermint, or Green Tea with Mint.  It really depends on the occasion because there is a tea for every mood. Chamomile before bed, I’d recommend Celestial Seasonings’ Chamamole Honey Vanilla. 

Taqueria in California:  Normally I don’t opt for the chain, but Chipotle has got that shit on lock down.  Hands down best burritos.  Best Mexican restaurant is a toss up cause there are so many.  La Cantina in Walnut Creek has been my fave for a while.  San Diego is the best place to get mexican in the US.

^feelin just right a La Cantina!

Lotion: I’m obsessed with The Body Shop’s Body Butter.  Avocado! although they don’t make that kind anymore.  I like Earth’s Organics/Essential Oils from Whole Foods.  Almond Oil lotion is the bomb!

Vegetable Dish: Kale, Celery, Broccoli, any kind of vegetable soup.

Thing to order at Chili’s:  Blue Pacific JUMBO Margarita (2), Bottomless Chips and Salsa, Chicken Enchilada Soup (yummers!), The Grilled Carribbean Salad. I Love Chili’s!

Rap Song that’s on the radio: I’ve been bumpin a lot of cds lately, but I do hear a bit.  Kanye’s new song, “Throw Some D’s”- Rich Boy (a great jam to drive to)